Research IT!

Yes, the IT is all caps-- if you have a problem, stop reading right now.  I use all caps sometimes.


Lol, that was a remark geared to someone that thought a comment I left on a support group was rude because I capped a few words, not even in order.  I put all caps on a few words (separated by other words) in a comment in regards to chemotherapy.  I was trying to highlight some terminology, and it was taken as I was being rude and "yelling".  I don't yell in all caps. 


I elongate when I really am mad...UUUGGGHHHH!!! (and use exclamation marks!)


I guess this rant is more about the importance of research.  Do you have an illness, like cancer?  Maybe even leukemia or APL?  Here's the thing:  Please, for the love of yourself and your life, please oh please research your illness or disease.


Its one thing to join a support group on facebook or on a cancer website, but its another to take what another patient or family member to another patient says as truth.  And, from what university did they get their medical degree from?  Exactly. 


I've seen people asking a support group what C-diff is.  ASK your DOCTOR!  (Yep, did it on purpose there.)  In case you don't know what C-diff is, you have not experienced the outbreak that is the most disgusting side effect to chemo or suppressed immune systems have the pleasure and the curse to have.  Yes, look it up.  Google and Wikipedia are great.


When someone is told they have cancer...many thoughts go through their heads.  For me, I was told in a very cold way and then rushed in an ambulance to another hospital.  I was lucky enough to have a nurse explain to me what was happening.  The following day, I met lots of doctors.  I was bombarded with tons of information and questions and it was very dizzying.  By the time my boyfriend brought me my laptop, I had printouts, but I also still wanted to look things up on the interweb myself.  I wanted to see other stories, hope for happy endings, read about other experiences like what I was about to embark.  I wanted answers and confirmations. 


Guess what?  I got them.  I agreed with everything my doctors told me.  I questioned (and still ask questions) when I don't understand something fully.  Maybe my inner nerd that loves science and biology really got a chance to shine through and help ease my nerves, but honestly, I can't imagine not asking questions and just saying OKAY (totally not yelling).  I also can't imagine asking someone who I don't even know what they do for a living what C. diff is--- that's what the hospital staff is for.  That's what your doctor is for.  And, when you have a fever and don't feel well, well they do want to know.  Do your meds make you puke?  Tell them.  Don't tell another patient...they can't do anything about that.  Tell the magicians who are trying to save your life, because the price of magic is plenty, and some of it isn't necessary.  Does Compazine make you feel funny?  Tell your oncologist.  They can easily write a script for Zofran if you aren't allergic. 


Don't rely on others for medical advice-- rely on them for moral support. 


I know its been awhile since I posted.  I should give an update, but I really needed to get this out. 
Thank you.
xoxo
lisa

September 5, 2013

I didn't want to wake up today.  I wake up twice in the night to apply more ointment to my eye, and it makes for a tough time sleeping.  We also lost power last night, and N overslept a bit.  Frank was waiting at the front door for his morning potty walk and crying.  I felt so bad for him. 
I wore my mask yesterday to take Frank potty in the afternoon.  I knew my numbers were going up and doctor expected me to be in normal range in a couple days.  We were outside all of five minutes, but it was great, to feel the warmth of the sun.  Now, I just can't wait to eat raw, fresh fruits and vegetables!  Soon, soon, soon, I hope!
Two weeks until my next biopsy.  Its been a struggle, but I think I still have it easier than most people with cancer.  I feel like I am starting to understand my purpose in life a bit more.  I really hope there is someone reading this that is going through cancer or has someone close to them going through it, thinking, this is helping me.  Yep, I'm going to have bad days that suck.  Yep, I'm going to wonder what I did wrong for karma to kick me so hard.  Yep, I have cancer, but this is my warrior training and I will get through this.

My mom told me the other day, "You are so strong Lisa for going through this.  You can do anything now!"  I think she is right.  I think of the song, Stronger by Kelly Clarkson and just sing along and smile.  I am lucky to have my family and N and his family.  They have been rocks for me.  I hope I can be a rock for someone else.