I'm hoping to go home today...

Today is the fifth day of my inpatient chemotherapy.  I am waiting for my final EKG, then this afternoon I will have my chemo pills and my IV chemo treatment.  After that, I am hoping they allow me to go home, so I can do outpatient chemo for the remainder 4 weeks of my consolidation therapy.

Even though I knew this was going to be a short trip, and I have not felt sick at all...I still can't wait to go home and sleep in my own bed.  My last stay was 5 weeks long, and by day 3, my boyfriend had brought me blankets and pillows from home.  Oh it felt so good to have my own blankie and pillows!  The downside is there is so much to bring back home when you leave...like you are moving out of a small apartment.  We didn't do that this time, because I knew I was only going to be here a week or so.  The small baggie of chocolate kisses and mini york peppermint patties have disappeared, though. Should have packed a few more of those.  Mental note made for next time.

If you have never been a guest at a hospital for more than 3 days (and I never did before this), I can't tell you how much you begin to miss your normal life.  To me, it feels like a very nice prison.  You can walk around the floor, but not around the hospital.  You shower when they can help you.  You eat when they bring your food.  Heck, you begin to look at the clock at noon because you know its almost time for lunch...between 12:15 and 12:30 it will be delivered.  Most days something is missing from lunch, too.  Or, its cold.  Then you have to walk to the kitchen area to warm it in the microwave.  Ice cream and chocolate milk become the top commodity in the kitchen.  If you see ice cream or chocolate milk in the fridge and freezer...grab it whether you are hungry or not, because its rare they stock those in there.

I spend a lot of time on facebook, twitter and on the phone while here at the hospital.  I can't wait for visitors, even if we have nothing to say or talk about.  Just having the company is so meaningful and welcome.  I usually feel bad we have nothing to say, or if I am too tired and fall asleep.  That is something you can do if you know someone with cancer or is sick in the hospital.  Visit.  Bring a magazine, game, or even snacks.  Just sit there and laugh with them or hold their hand.  It truly makes all the difference.