Cancer- rebirthday

Yesterday, I turned 4.

Wow, time flies.  Almost two years I was treated for leukemia, and the past two years I have spent trying to get back to living.  Its been rough.

Yesterday, I was talking to my boyfriend about that day and what followed.  Everything that happened and came so quickly-- dealing with

• cancer diagnosis
• likelihood of never having children
• treatment-- chemo
• all the blood transfusions
• gallbladder removal
• losing my hair
• getting a port put in
• allergic reactions to medication
• all the vomiting
• losing my sense of taste
• increased sense of smell
• gaining lots of weight and losing lots of weight
• rashes
• yeast infections
• the shape of my tongue changed
• c-diff and wearing diapers
• shingles
• not being able to stand or think clearly
• wearing a surgical mask everywhere I went, even just outside
• money/insurance issues
• crazy headaches from the ATRA pills
• light sensitivity
• skin peeling all over
• losing my fingernails and toenails
• chemo induced menopause-- all the hotflashes (10/hour!)
• losing hair in places I didn't think was necessary and missing its purpose!
• exhaustion
• sleeping 12 + hours a day on the couch
• showers with the port
• port changes and daily flushes
• home nurse
• fevers
• pneumonia on Christmas
• wisdom teeth removal
• cracks in teeth
• becoming allergic to everything I use on a daily basis

Now its about living.

I am blessed to be alive.  Endless hours of golden girls during my treatment taught me nothing is the end. we keep going even after the show is cancelled.