Friday, August 30, 2013

The nightmares

Back in February, when I was rushed to the hospital and told that I had leukemia, the nightmares began.  Very detailed, vampire nightmares that were so scary.  Sometimes, I would wake up in the hospital, middle of the night, drenched in sweat.  Was it from the nightmare or the cancer?  I don't know, maybe a bit of both.

These nightmares were detailed.  They were scary. I couldn't fall back asleep and then would think about them the next day.  I can see the correlation, though.  Nurses were taking my blood and testing it multiple times every day, I was getting blood products, I was just diagnosed with a blood cancer.  All makes sense in hindsight.  In the dreams I was running, hiding from the vampires.  They wanted my blood and wanted to destroy me and everything I love.  It was very dark and dreary and run-down, everywhere.  Life wasn't the same.

But, the fear I had about vampires seems to be gone now.  I just think if they were around, I wouldn't be scared.  The same goes for any bad guy-- like an attacker or robber.  I wouldn't be scared.  I would fight and kick butt.  That's right, like a warrior.  I feel like cancer has been my personal warrior training.  My dear friend told me that daily when I was in the hospital for my induction chemo.  "Lisa, this is your warrior princess training."  He told me I could do this, and he was right.  Here I am, almost September, and I just finished my last round of chemo.  I am ready for my 4th bone marrow biopsy coming up in a couple weeks and then maintenance therapy for a year.  I can do this.  I am in the home stretch.

No comments:

Post a Comment