Friday, May 27, 2016
I have been himming and hawing for awhile on what to write about my dreams...I know I mentioned previously that my first couple of weeks in the hospital, I had dreams about vampires, and everything was dark and greenish in those dreams. I slept a lot-- and sometimes the nurses didn't wake me while taking my vitals and blood. I had an external port that had 3 tubes that stuck out of my chest for easy access to give me IV bags, medicine, and take blood.
The dreams really haven't stopped. I'm not cured, but I'm in remission. No drugs for cancer right now (lol, everything I take is for the after effects of chemo and cancer).
I've become addicted to shows like Being Human, The Originals, and The Vampire Diaries. Do they glamorize vampires, ghosts, and the supernatural? Sure. Can I sometimes relate? Sure.
I think, looking back, that I was the one that was a bit of vampire. I needed healthy blood, because I wasn't making any, or it was tainted and cancerous. I would get blood and blood products almost daily. I suffered from fevers, sickness, and cold sweats and hot flashes during that time. I was dying, and all that could save me was someone else's blood.
I always felt like the vampires were the hospital staff, because they were taking my blood. But, as I watch my shows now, most contain a struggle between being human or saving your humanity and continuing to exist, and somehow, I find comfort in that. My dreams may be a result of simply both being hooked on these shows and what I've gone through. Sometimes I am being hunted, other times I think I am the vampire.
Does this sound crazy? Any other leukemia or blood cancer patients have dreams about this kinda stuff? Just curious.