Friday, January 23, 2015

Note to Gramma Honey

Gramma Honey,
Do you remember when I was younger and I got a bunch of Neutrogena samples?  I gave you some of them...I remember you were very excited about moisturizer.  I remember we were listening to my tape of oldies, I think it was the soundtrack from My Girl.  We were living in Munster at the time, and I might have been 14 or so.  You told me all about how moisturizer would be a necessity and my best friend as I got older.  Do you remember?

Well, it is something I need so much all the time right now.  I need you too, Gramma.  I miss you and I know you are up there helping me out and staying by my side.  Oh God, I wish I had you near me.  I wish I could let you know how much you mean to me.  I love you so much and I am so disappointed in myself in how I acted in my 20s.  I didn't visit you enough.  I didn't spend enough time with you, and it hurts me so much now. 

I don't know where that memory came from, I was doing something completely different, and I had the memory of giving you those samples and thinking about how I desperately need moisturizer nowadays.  My skin is so dry, I don't know what from.  My body doesn't want to seem to get back to "normal" and it is taking a mental toll on me.  I just want to be me again, and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it without worrying them.  Somehow, I know you would understand.  You would tell me you were sorry I was going through this, just like mom would (I'm sure).  I just wish I could have a hug from you and some of your cookies, lol.

I always tell Neil to keep close to his Gran, she is so great, she reminds me of Aunt Kay.  She speaks her mind, and she is independent and wonderful.  I love her.  She also makes me miss you and Grandma W, too. 

Thank you for being such a wonderful and loving gramma.  I miss you every day.  Oh, I know why I probably thought about you.  I used my trunk today, and I keep that little pink rabbit I sewed for you back in 6th grade.  I got it back after you went to Heaven.  I put it in my trunk of my car and kept it there ever since.  Maybe tomorrow I will take it out and wash it gently and move it to my bedroom.  It reminds me of you and how much I love you. Always.
Your Granddaughter,

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